Comments for Dyssonance http://www.dyssonance.com ...breaking all the rules Sat, 04 Sep 2010 03:00:50 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 Comment on Pixie by Les http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10411&cpage=1#comment-7983 Les Sat, 04 Sep 2010 03:00:50 +0000 http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10411#comment-7983 She is so cute, I too can not wait to meet her. She is so cute, I too can not wait to meet her.

]]> Comment on Pixie by Billie http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10411&cpage=1#comment-7982 Billie Sat, 04 Sep 2010 02:51:05 +0000 http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10411#comment-7982 Hands down, the best blog post EVER!! If there is anyone out there that can't get behind this one, well...well...then poo on you!! Isn't she beautiful???? Oh, you look good too Toni. :) Can't wait to meet Pixie in person. Take Care, Billie Hands down, the best blog post EVER!! If there is anyone out there that can’t get behind this one, well…well…then poo on you!!

Isn’t she beautiful????

Oh, you look good too Toni. :)

Can’t wait to meet Pixie in person.

Take Care,
Billie

]]> Comment on Momentous Days by Kristen J. http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10402&cpage=1#comment-7912 Kristen J. Tue, 31 Aug 2010 14:55:09 +0000 http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10402#comment-7912 From one busty blond with a small rescue dog to another...coach discontinued their dog accessories line...but Vuitton still has stuff. :) Also, glad to hear that life is treating you better. From one busty blond with a small rescue dog to another…coach discontinued their dog accessories line…but Vuitton still has stuff. :) Also, glad to hear that life is treating you better.

]]> Comment on Momentous Days by Twitted by tonidorsay http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10402&cpage=1#comment-7909 Twitted by tonidorsay Tue, 31 Aug 2010 14:22:04 +0000 http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10402#comment-7909 [...] This post was Twitted by tonidorsay [...] [...] This post was Twitted by tonidorsay [...]

]]> Comment on Open, Out, In, and Closed by SarasNavel http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10390&cpage=1#comment-7845 SarasNavel Sat, 28 Aug 2010 10:03:49 +0000 http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10390#comment-7845 Ah, but what about those kids? Specifically, the high body dysphoria types, since they are the ones that force the issue. Now that there actually exists a generation that is being allowed to socially and later physically transition as early as needed (think "4 years old" and, "at puberty"), I think we may see that it really *is* about passing (replace with your favorite term meaning, "not identified by others as one's birth sex"). The ones that are starting out as their identified gender have never built any other identity, external or internal. Nor internal defences against the discord. To them, it really is about that one area that doesn't fit, but they are being taught that it does not affect who they are and that it will be fixed. For them it becomes merely, "a minor medical condition" due to it's private (read:invisible) nature, and that view is reinforced in the way they are necessarily presented to the small group that has access to birth certificates and other records, such as schools and doctors (when did unqualified educational managers become privy to kids' health care records, anyway?). So the question becomes, are we dinosaurs? Granted that the ratio of late transitioners (meaning post puberty, not middle age) will taper off only slowly even in the most optimistic of visions, what will the effect be of a generation that has pretty much always been only known by both themselves and others as their self-identified sex and gender? Assuming available legal paths to changing identity, "Passing" will simply be...living with a managed condition, one that may or may not have required surgery. Following an even more optimistic vision, perhaps 20 or 40 years from now, will trans people undergo the "second generation immigrant" syndrome some gays and lesbians are currently living through, that of almost desperate mainstream binary assimilation and a dissociation with ties to a more socially excluded past (don't worry, the generation that follows is in turn usually obsessed in backlash with their own history)? I think my point is that the terms we use today are artifacts of what our world is going through today, as is how we even conceptualize being trans. And that world is changing: There are just barely two living generations following us and they see things in a different way. Those that transition socially in preschool seem to be veering toward the "medical condition" view, while simultaneously there is a slightly older crowd (as seen from...uh, a couple decades away) of teens and young adults that is fully embracing the concept of full-spectrum-transgender, incorporating sex, gender and sexuality; internal, external and social role gender identities. Step right up and place your bets, folks! What will the future hold? Will they quietly drift and go their separate ways, or will they find themselves fighting side by side against events being set in motion today? As I sit back and sip some tea I wonder...as we get just a bit closer to our own twilight will all of us, whether HBS or transgender or simply trans, be feeling like the old school "true" butches and femmes do today when they look back and talk about the past, before the sexual revolution and gay pride changed their world forever? And while we're at it, do we really just want to fade into our own lives, bitterly arguing amongst our generation while that world changes? Have we really reached that point? Or are there practical things we can do outside of our little navel-gazing universe with all that energy expended the last few weeks to prepare the world for the next generation of trans men and women (or if you prefer, men and women of history)? Or at least help each other where and when we can? We don't even need enemies any more to judge and persecute and separate us, we trans women do just fine on our own don't we? Ah, but what about those kids? Specifically, the high body dysphoria types, since they are the ones that force the issue. Now that there actually exists a generation that is being allowed to socially and later physically transition as early as needed (think “4 years old” and, “at puberty”), I think we may see that it really *is* about passing (replace with your favorite term meaning, “not identified by others as one’s birth sex”). The ones that are starting out as their identified gender have never built any other identity, external or internal. Nor internal defences against the discord. To them, it really is about that one area that doesn’t fit, but they are being taught that it does not affect who they are and that it will be fixed. For them it becomes merely, “a minor medical condition” due to it’s private (read:invisible) nature, and that view is reinforced in the way they are necessarily presented to the small group that has access to birth certificates and other records, such as schools and doctors (when did unqualified educational managers become privy to kids’ health care records, anyway?).

So the question becomes, are we dinosaurs? Granted that the ratio of late transitioners (meaning post puberty, not middle age) will taper off only slowly even in the most optimistic of visions, what will the effect be of a generation that has pretty much always been only known by both themselves and others as their self-identified sex and gender? Assuming available legal paths to changing identity, “Passing” will simply be…living with a managed condition, one that may or may not have required surgery.

Following an even more optimistic vision, perhaps 20 or 40 years from now, will trans people undergo the “second generation immigrant” syndrome some gays and lesbians are currently living through, that of almost desperate mainstream binary assimilation and a dissociation with ties to a more socially excluded past (don’t worry, the generation that follows is in turn usually obsessed in backlash with their own history)?

I think my point is that the terms we use today are artifacts of what our world is going through today, as is how we even conceptualize being trans. And that world is changing: There are just barely two living generations following us and they see things in a different way. Those that transition socially in preschool seem to be veering toward the “medical condition” view, while simultaneously there is a slightly older crowd (as seen from…uh, a couple decades away) of teens and young adults that is fully embracing the concept of full-spectrum-transgender, incorporating sex, gender and sexuality; internal, external and social role gender identities. Step right up and place your bets, folks! What will the future hold? Will they quietly drift and go their separate ways, or will they find themselves fighting side by side against events being set in motion today?

As I sit back and sip some tea I wonder…as we get just a bit closer to our own twilight will all of us, whether HBS or transgender or simply trans, be feeling like the old school “true” butches and femmes do today when they look back and talk about the past, before the sexual revolution and gay pride changed their world forever?

And while we’re at it, do we really just want to fade into our own lives, bitterly arguing amongst our generation while that world changes? Have we really reached that point? Or are there practical things we can do outside of our little navel-gazing universe with all that energy expended the last few weeks to prepare the world for the next generation of trans men and women (or if you prefer, men and women of history)? Or at least help each other where and when we can? We don’t even need enemies any more to judge and persecute and separate us, we trans women do just fine on our own don’t we?

]]> Comment on Open, Out, In, and Closed by kori mika http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10390&cpage=1#comment-7822 kori mika Fri, 27 Aug 2010 13:42:04 +0000 http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10390#comment-7822 i don't know about the closets, mine just keep progressingly getting better as I go through my transition. Just picked up another very pretty blouse the other day! Seriously, I believe we change over time and progress through various stages of developing, like an awakening so to speak. Where we are at post-op will largely depend on where we were pre-op. So much of transitioning is psychological development, something that is put aside for laser or a new wig. It is unfortunir\te that the road we travel has so many pot holes in it, both self imposed and pushed upon us. There are so many points in between on our journey, so many variables that each of us are unique and grow and develope at different rates. Obviously, I see transition as linear in concept and a life long journey that doesn't stop post-op. i don’t know about the closets, mine just keep progressingly getting better as I go through my transition. Just picked up another very pretty blouse the other day!
Seriously, I believe we change over time and progress through various stages of developing, like an awakening so to speak. Where we are at post-op will largely depend on where we were pre-op. So much of transitioning is psychological development, something that is put aside for laser or a new wig. It is unfortunir\te that the road we travel has so many pot holes in it, both self imposed and pushed upon us. There are so many points in between on our journey, so many variables that each of us are unique and grow and develope at different rates. Obviously, I see transition as linear in concept and a life long journey that doesn’t stop post-op.

]]> Comment on What we have here is a failure to communicate by Sophia http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10370&cpage=1#comment-7745 Sophia Tue, 24 Aug 2010 10:54:34 +0000 http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10370#comment-7745 Again, this seems to be drifting far away from the OP and I'd rather continue elswhere, if you want. Such might involve talking degrees of acceptance. If you're asking, for example, whether after 2 years it's normal to be accepted as a FAAB woman in all circumstances, then from everything I've heard and the number of post transition trans women that I've met,no, that's rather abnormal. If you're referring to acceptance as a MAAB woman, then I'd say yes, that's not abnormal. If you're talking of acceptance as a woman of MAAB (or in my case simply male) history with no basic difference between that and FAAB, then whilst I'd see that as being abnormal 100% of the time it's certainly the most authentic form of meeting that I can think of and forms the basis of most of my social interaction. If you want to say that you're accepted as a woman through flawless performative abilities, then I'd say that was crap.Etc.etc. I don't pick and choose where I'm comfortable to present as a woman.I haven't really had much of a period when I was female and didn't live it, so RLE has a rather different meaning to me as simply RL. I see my process as still very much one of growing and finding myself as a woman. The fact that I live at the centre of a community with a strong ethic of acceptance of different histories is my good fortune in allowing me as much space and support as I need to enlarge myself thusly. Again, this seems to be drifting far away from the OP and I’d rather continue elswhere, if you want.
Such might involve talking degrees of acceptance. If you’re asking, for example, whether after 2 years it’s normal to be accepted as a FAAB woman in all circumstances, then from everything I’ve heard and the number of post transition trans women that I’ve met,no, that’s rather abnormal. If you’re referring to acceptance as a MAAB woman, then I’d say yes, that’s not abnormal. If you’re talking of acceptance as a woman of MAAB (or in my case simply male) history with no basic difference between that and FAAB, then whilst I’d see that as being abnormal 100% of the time it’s certainly the most authentic form of meeting that I can think of and forms the basis of most of my social interaction. If you want to say that you’re accepted as a woman through flawless performative abilities, then I’d say that was crap.Etc.etc.
I don’t pick and choose where I’m comfortable to present as a woman.I haven’t really had much of a period when I was female and didn’t live it, so RLE has a rather different meaning to me as simply RL. I see my process as still very much one of growing and finding myself as a woman. The fact that I live at the centre of a community with a strong ethic of acceptance of different histories is my good fortune in allowing me as much space and support as I need to enlarge myself thusly.

]]> Comment on Early morning by Sophie http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10379&cpage=1#comment-7738 Sophie Tue, 24 Aug 2010 01:21:30 +0000 http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10379#comment-7738 Las Vegas is hot this time of year, though probably not much more so than AZ. I was supposed to be there in September but my daughter decided to have her baby 4 weeks early so here in August instead. Las Vegas is hot this time of year, though probably not much more so than AZ. I was supposed to be there in September but my daughter decided to have her baby 4 weeks early so here in August instead.

]]> Comment on Homeless services need help by Sophie http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10376&cpage=1#comment-7737 Sophie Tue, 24 Aug 2010 01:13:05 +0000 http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10376#comment-7737 80 more. Best wishes, Sophie 80 more. Best wishes, Sophie

]]> Comment on What we have here is a failure to communicate by Dyssonance http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10370&cpage=1#comment-7720 Dyssonance Mon, 23 Aug 2010 14:10:06 +0000 http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10370#comment-7720 Incidentally, I noted specifically why the two are different forms of failure (circular vs. Begging) -- and that argument goes back to Aristotle. I've left it off because your links don't recognize that basic simple difference, and, to be direct, I've been kinda busy the last four days (which is why it takes me so long to get your comments approved lately, for which I apologize, and related to that I want to thank you for not engaging in overt misgendering). Incidentally, I noted specifically why the two are different forms of failure (circular vs. Begging) — and that argument goes back to Aristotle. I’ve left it off because your links don’t recognize that basic simple difference, and, to be direct, I’ve been kinda busy the last four days (which is why it takes me so long to get your comments approved lately, for which I apologize, and related to that I want to thank you for not engaging in overt misgendering).

]]> Comment on What we have here is a failure to communicate by Dyssonance http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10370&cpage=1#comment-7719 Dyssonance Mon, 23 Aug 2010 14:05:35 +0000 http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10370#comment-7719 *sigh* Whatevah... However, as for changing the name, I haven't. I didn't know you wanted me too, for one, or that you didn't want me to, for another. If you'd like me to do so, I will, but remember to ask nicely. So saying that I've refused something I haven't' been asked seems to be a bit odd to me... *sigh* Whatevah…

However, as for changing the name, I haven’t. I didn’t know you wanted me too, for one, or that you didn’t want me to, for another. If you’d like me to do so, I will, but remember to ask nicely.

So saying that I’ve refused something I haven’t’ been asked seems to be a bit odd to me…

]]> Comment on What we have here is a failure to communicate by Hipparkhia http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10370&cpage=1#comment-7717 Hipparkhia Mon, 23 Aug 2010 13:35:56 +0000 http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10370#comment-7717 Oh please, get an English teacher to explain it to you. And thank you SO much for changing my name to my screen-name. Your refusal says everything about you... Oh please, get an English teacher to explain it to you.

And thank you SO much for changing my name to my screen-name. Your refusal says everything about you…

]]> Comment on What we have here is a failure to communicate by Hipparkhia http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10370&cpage=1#comment-7715 Hipparkhia Mon, 23 Aug 2010 13:27:45 +0000 http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10370#comment-7715 Sophia, you keep making assumptions about me. I took the notion of RLE seriously - that is , I assumed it meant living as a woman, period. Not picking and choosing the people or situations you are comfortable with. I am accepted as a woman in every contact ranging from casual encounters in the street up to dating a man. After two years surely that is normal? Sophia, you keep making assumptions about me. I took the notion of RLE seriously – that is , I assumed it meant living as a woman, period. Not picking and choosing the people or situations you are comfortable with. I am accepted as a woman in every contact ranging from casual encounters in the street up to dating a man. After two years surely that is normal?

]]> Comment on What we have here is a failure to communicate by Dyssonance http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10370&cpage=1#comment-7695 Dyssonance Sun, 22 Aug 2010 21:37:01 +0000 http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10370#comment-7695 Grammatically speaking, the context places the subject of they as the people who did help you, since grammatically speaking, that would be referencing a prior sentence (note the period), whichis not what I was doing. So no, I didn't say that. Grammatically speaking, the context places the subject of they as the people who did help you, since grammatically speaking, that would be referencing a prior sentence (note the period), whichis not what I was doing.

So no, I didn’t say that.

]]> Comment on What we have here is a failure to communicate by Hipparkhia http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10370&cpage=1#comment-7694 Hipparkhia Sun, 22 Aug 2010 14:59:19 +0000 http://www.dyssonance.com/?p=10370#comment-7694 Er, Dyssonance, you <em>did</em> say that! "it is not the fault of activists that you felt that way, that you didn’t see the point in trying. that was your doing — and what they helped you overcome was your own internalized issues." Grammatically speaking, the "they" in that sentence can only refer to "activists" and thereby implies that you assumed those who helped me find employment were transgender. Perhaps that's not what you intended.... if so it makes a nonsense of what I was saying. Activists did NOT help me overcome any issues whatsoever. On the contrary, they obstructed me. Of course, it is entirely my own fault I ever gave any of them the slightest credence. On the other hand it is impossible to challenge what they say without opening oneself to the vilest abuse. Anyway, I am disappointed that you aren't able to admit you were wrong about circular arguments and validity. Oh well..... I suppose after all this it is not worth me asking that you change the name attached to all my comments here to my screen-name? it was lazy of me not to check the pre-filled-in form. I would be very grateful. Er, Dyssonance, you did say that!

“it is not the fault of activists that you felt that way, that you didn’t see the point in trying. that was your doing — and what they helped you overcome was your own internalized issues.”

Grammatically speaking, the “they” in that sentence can only refer to “activists” and thereby implies that you assumed those who helped me find employment were transgender. Perhaps that’s not what you intended…. if so it makes a nonsense of what I was saying.

Activists did NOT help me overcome any issues whatsoever. On the contrary, they obstructed me. Of course, it is entirely my own fault I ever gave any of them the slightest credence. On the other hand it is impossible to challenge what they say without opening oneself to the vilest abuse.

Anyway, I am disappointed that you aren’t able to admit you were wrong about circular arguments and validity. Oh well…..

I suppose after all this it is not worth me asking that you change the name attached to all my comments here to my screen-name? it was lazy of me not to check the pre-filled-in form. I would be very grateful.

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