Dyssonance

Do not countenance them, thou there: turn away from their lackered sumptuosities, their belauded sophistries, their serpent graciosities, their spoken and acted cant, with a sacred horror,with an _Apage Satanas._–Bobus and Company, and all men will gradually join us.

Imagine you have a blog.

And on that blog you have a person commenting who  spends most of their time on your blog commenting on the stuff other people say, and using their words against them. With a sharp tongue and literalist sensibility that erases humor. They don’t cross your lines, but they definitely push the limits of your ideas of what is proper.

Now imagine that they cause you trouble. By kinda “hijacking” your blog threads simply by the sheer presence in them they have.  Where you look at one thread and you see 100 comments and they have far more than a third of them.

What would you do?

Would you let that person have a spot on your blog — a place to speak their voice from?

Would you tell them they need to back off a bit, stop running over the threads.

Well, I can say that for me, both have happened. Because I am an outspoken sort, and I don’t back down, and I don’t have much patience for idiocy in action.

And it’s been four months.

I had sorta expected six months, myself.  It took three for the main body of peeps to hit.

Heres the thing:  I’ve had my own blog now for three years.  The other day, in fact, was three years: March 9th, 2007.

At the time I started this blog, I was living in a trailer which had a floor that would break when I walked across it, allowed me to see the squirrels playing outside through the chunk of missing wall while I sat on the toilet, and had water so bad that I managed to cut my usage down to ten gallons a week for everything — including my ubiquitous tea and bathing. I’d been there about five weeks at that time.

It was bad.  It was very bad. And I was grateful as all hell to have it because as bad as it was, it was a place to live (with internet, no less).  And I was homeless, and I needed someplace to live.

I’ve changed my blog location a few times, as I found I liked this or didn’t like that, and, in the end, I started this location under the domain name after a long while of having it simply redirect to where ever my blog was.

I’m still not totally into the whole posting every day thing, and I don’t realy talk about the daily crap in my life as much because who really wants to read something like “well, today I went to the food bank and helped dispense food to people, and then I came home and stared at the TV for a couple hours, and then I read emails for a couple hours and then I did facebook for about 30 minutes and then I read blogs and made some comments and finally I went to bed” four days a week with interruptions of things like “well, I went to the gym and was only able to do one mile of stairmaster instead of two”?

I’m busy, but not *that* kind of busy.  I don’t walk across the metro area for equality (like some really incredible people do).  I *might* do the Pride parade this year.  We’ll see.

In any case, for the last three years I’ve just written stuff that crossed my mind.  Stuff that captured my interest, and, often, stuff that upset me or caused me to give it more thought.  That’s what I use this place for — to work through things myself.

It took three years for me to reach 1000 comments. There’s just under 465 posts and pages to read here. I try to add two to three per day.

It took four months at Bilerico to reach 1000 comments.  And less than a 10th as many posts, lol.

But Bilerico has something I don’t really have here, as a result of that readership difference (a single post of mine there gets as many views on an average day as an entire days worth of posts here). It has a lot more of the people I used to call my fan club.

And they are coming out of the woodwork.

They are Anti-fans.  ”Haters” I suppose, although that’s just kinda stupid, lol. And at least a couple of them come directly from my old stomping grounds of Topix, where I am best described as a bully and know it all.  I know because everyone has a particular style of writing that is very uniquely theirs.  We all have mannersims and habits and particular turns of phrase that we use in our discourse, and it takes a lot of effort to overcome that, to write differently.

And, sure enough, there’s at least three who are genuine sock puppets of people who went around baiting the LGBT contingent at Topix.  Now they are doing it at Bilerico, and they are, of course, picking on me, personally.

Which I find interesting, because one of my quirks is that if someone is going to attack you, personally, instead of the message you create, then they are doing so because they cannot tackle the message.

THis could be because they don’t understand it.  Maybe they just don’t like it and lack the ability to attack the message.  Maybe they see the particular truth of it, but still disagree and lack the competency to come up with an effective counter argument.  Perhaps they are afraid of what it means.

Or maybe they can’t separate the messenger fro the message, and figure the messenger just deserves to have the crap kicked outta her.

In any case, I know that they come from Topix because of one thing I did that people in general aren’t aware of.

I am an Editor at Topix — means nothing, really.  I get to post stories to it.

Well, I linked that post.

I’ve done that a couple times with posts here which I felt were particularly worthwhile.  One day I had so many hits my averages are all screwed up, lol.

But it’s taken my three years and four months to get to this point.  Of spending most of those days involved, to some extent or other, in LGBT politics and information and learning.

And I’m glad I did.  Because one of the reasons I’m doing it is that it gets me closer to my goals — including that driving need that some transsexuals talk about a lot.

Not that they’ll ever figure out how it’s doing that.  But then, they don’t need to.

I do.

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