Dyssonance

So here it is, Monday.

I took the weekend off, for the most part.  Aside from being an anniversary for me, it was Coming out day (wich, way back when, I didn’t know — but it seems so, so appropos given what I spent part of that day doing, lol), it was a support group day (very disheartening turnout, and complicated by my own particular prejudices), and generally, I needed a break.

I didn’t really get one, however.  Instead I just got angrier and angrier.

It started, of course, just before I published the last big post on a pervasive quirk of prejudice.  And it just got worse.

Erasure was the weekend watchword, and it still stands that despite many, many transfolkk being very viusible, there was a pointed and concerted effort to overlook and pass over them in an interest on focusing on the coverage of cisfolk.

But that wasn’t what *really* set me off.  It was the responses to those of us who noted this was not a good thing.

And while I’ve lost my temper more than once, its’ been quick, short, and over with in a couple moments.  Which is good — I’ve managed in general to discuss things without slipping too far into my usual nasty mode.

THis doesn’t change my support for Obama — I still support him.  I just have no faith in him to do the things that I see need to be done to end discrimination. That lack of faith in him is not all that big a deal — I would rather support someone I have no faith in than someone I know will gut me like a fish and display me for a prize.

Pretty realistic viewpoint, I like to think. However, I said what I needed to say before the weekend, and it held true throghout it, so at this point, I’m not to add to it.

But this weekend absolutely reaffirmed many things for me, and not just the political.

It says I’m starting to feel better about thngs — this period of painful and constant distraction over somethg I can’t do anything about that led me intoa vicious circle of thoughts, none of them healthy for me — which is a bit of an imrovement.

I got up to about 60% of my normal self recently, then dropped down again and now I’m around 40% again. IN strong part to a concerted effort I’m making to be much more positive about things overall.

In part as well knowing that I have an account opened or SRS funds, s[pecifically, and that yes, on my blog (http://www.dyssonance.com for those reading this in email or via FB) I have a coll little thingy for people who like what I write to donate a dollar to me if they choose (or more, even, lol).

I’ve also come to the conclusion this morning that I am indeed going to write a book on trans-related stuff.

Yeah, I know, I know, yet another one.  I didn’t say I’d get it published, lol, but I’m definitely writing it, lol.

Much of it is here already, I suppose — just means I get to take it and do some editing so that it’s not so rife with my commentary on the CTS crew (who I will be pointedly more fair to), but absolutely not all of it.

Time and time again, when I’m in my good frame of mind, I come back to employment, empowerment, and emancipation as the three themes that dominate things in my writing, and with the new insihts of the last few months, I think I will probably need to update my old T3E stuff and get that going again.

So, right now, not a whole lot to say.  I know — it’s pretty disappointing, but hey, give me a day or two and I’ll be grumpy — and may even have something to say in the interim.

ANd I haven’t fporgotten about spooks — just have to get back into the mood…

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