About Dyssonance

My name is Antonia Elle D’orsay, and I am black and white and red, all over.image of Toni D'orsay, also known as Dyssonance

I was born in 1965.  I stand five foot eight and change in bare feet, and I have brown eyes.  I am gifted with the wonders of being able to change my hair color and my hair style at whim, even if I might not want to have that blessing.

I have an ego so large, it is causing aspects of global warming.  I am aware of this.

I am currently able bodied, and I have a history of violent metaphor.

I am a sociologist, a psychologist, and I know a great deal about religion.

I adore cooking, though I am not a fancy person when I do — I favor simpler fare and I don’t play around too much.

I like to garden, though I am so busy these days that I lack one at present.

I have been writing this blog or its immediate predecessors for a very long time. I tried to quit once, and failed.

I have tried to commit suicide twice, and apparently failed.

I am a Veteran of the United States Army. My primary MOS were 55D and 11C.  One of those doesn’t seem to work wll for people, since that’s basically bomb squad and infantry.

I am a former political activist in both the social and governmental spheres.

I hold as my sole and single identity “Antonia Elle D’orsay”.  Identity politics are a zero sum game to me.  I do not write in the vein of identity politics, so, should you ask me what I identify as or should you talk to me about identity, you will likely find yourself talking about something completely different from what I am talking about.

Because I do not.  Remember this and it will save you a great deal of grief.

I have been homeless three times in my life.


I am currently legally married to a woman in a state that does not recognize such. We currently file married filing jointly at the federal level and this is not an issue for the Federal government.  We do not live together, and haven’t for over five years.

I have a son that is my youngest child — I also have an older step son and three older step daughters.  And two grand children.

I have worked extensively in restaurants and retail, with over a decade of experience in both, as well as being self employed through various companies I’ve started as an entrepreneur.

I have worked in non profits off and on for the last 22 years. Only the last 6 really count.

You will find that you will disagree with something I say pretty frequently — unless you take the time to ask. The trick is asking the right questions in the right way.

I live in Phoenix, Arizona.  I have lived in Mesa, Scottsdale, Glendale, Peoria, El Mirage, Surprise, Sedona, Prescott, Benson, and Tucson. I have traveled to many places in the world, and I have somehow managed to avoid speaking any other languages.  Some argue I don’t actually speak english.

I belong to myself. There is no entity on this planet that I will submit to.

Some quotes of mine:

Never give a sucker an even break. Compound fractures are much more fun.

Privilege is not about who has it worse; it is about who has an expectation and who doesn’t.

I am less than I’d like, more than others expect, predictable but not typical, and I love what I do.