My name is Antonia Elle D’orsay, and I am black and white and red, all over.
I was born in 1965. I stand five foot eight and change in bare feet, and I have brown eyes. I am gifted with the wonders of being able to change my hair color and my hair style at whim, even if I might not want to have that blessing.
I have an ego so large, it is causing aspects of global warming. I am aware of this.
I am currently able bodied, and I have a history of violent metaphor.
I am a sociologist, a psychologist, and I know a great deal about religion.
I adore cooking, though I am not a fancy person when I do — I favor simpler fare and I don’t play around too much.
I like to garden, though I am so busy these days that I lack one at present.
I have been writing this blog or its immediate predecessors for a very long time. I tried to quit once, and failed.
I have tried to commit suicide twice, and apparently failed.
I am a Veteran of the United States Army. My primary MOS were 55D and 11C. One of those doesn’t seem to work wll for people, since that’s basically bomb squad and infantry.
I am a former political activist in both the social and governmental spheres.
I hold as my sole and single identity “Antonia Elle D’orsay”. Identity politics are a zero sum game to me. I do not write in the vein of identity politics, so, should you ask me what I identify as or should you talk to me about identity, you will likely find yourself talking about something completely different from what I am talking about.
Because I do not. Remember this and it will save you a great deal of grief.
I have been homeless three times in my life.

I am currently legally married to a woman in a state that does not recognize such. We currently file married filing jointly at the federal level and this is not an issue for the Federal government. We do not live together, and haven’t for over five years.
I have a son that is my youngest child — I also have an older step son and three older step daughters. And two grand children.
I have worked extensively in restaurants and retail, with over a decade of experience in both, as well as being self employed through various companies I’ve started as an entrepreneur.
I have worked in non profits off and on for the last 22 years. Only the last 6 really count.
You will find that you will disagree with something I say pretty frequently — unless you take the time to ask. The trick is asking the right questions in the right way.
I live in Phoenix, Arizona. I have lived in Mesa, Scottsdale, Glendale, Peoria, El Mirage, Surprise, Sedona, Prescott, Benson, and Tucson. I have traveled to many places in the world, and I have somehow managed to avoid speaking any other languages. Some argue I don’t actually speak english.
I belong to myself. There is no entity on this planet that I will submit to.
Some quotes of mine:
Never give a sucker an even break. Compound fractures are much more fun.
Privilege is not about who has it worse; it is about who has an expectation and who doesn’t.
I am less than I’d like, more than others expect, predictable but not typical, and I love what I do.
-- Download About Dyssonance as PDF --
Dear Toni;
Greetings from a friend you’ve never met (kindred spirit, perhaps?) in the relatively trans-friendly city of Chicago (kinda), The primary inspiration for this note was you post about the annual TDOR. After doing a bit more research into who you are and where you’re coming from, I have gained a much higher level of respect, and dare I say, maybe even some downright affection for what you seem to be about. Without boring you with a lot of gratuitous details, I’ll disclose that I am a professional production coordinator of events and live performances (mostly musical in nature) and have been “out” to one degree or another for longer than I care to admit (smile). I have been fairly pro-active in the trans “community” (?) here in northern IL for a long time as well, most recently with 5+ years on the board of the now-defunct (sadly) Illinois Gender Advocates (long stupid story with an unhappy ending).
During that tenure I produced 5 TDOR events, each more “successful” than the one before. The last one in 2010 featured my close personal friend Vanessa Edwards-Foster (co-founder of the very FIRST national trans-advocacy organization, NTAC), who gave an incredibly powerful keynote address which was shot on HD (with 3 cameras) and was fortunately saved for posterity on Youtube after out once-beloved organization began to disintegrate. Click the links below to witness our handiwork:
http://youtu.be/YQBf5KNLJFE — part 1
http://youtu.be/EOO9hdrsqfI — part 2
http://youtu.be/EOO9hdrsqfI — part 3
With that said, I may be able to offer some helpful insight towards the goal of a TDOR event optimized for maximum impact (public awareness-wise), as well as minimum expense (non-profit budget-wise). If any of this is of interest to you, please feel free to contact me directly at tgcyndi@yahoo.com. Rock on.
Hi Cyndi,
Thank you for your offer and odds are pretty good I will contact you for ideas via email in the next couple days,.
Today, however, I am tired, as it has been a long day.
Although we haven’t spoken in a while – -in no small part to her shifting focus in her personal life, I also know Vanessa and am aware of the history involved — and I still talk to and exchange stuff with Monica not too infrequently.
Research, eh? This archive is going to be the doom of me on many days, lol.
I will buzz you soonish!
Toni